Again with this self-care? Self-Care Part 2

Part 2 to the Self-Care blog I posted on May 29th. If you didn’t read it, please take some time to go back and read it. Actually, it would be beneficial to read the first blog on self-care before you read this one. Some of the things I wrote about included, what is self-care, myths of self-care, purpose of self-care, and the intentionality needed to engage in self-care consistently. I provided a sample weekly schedule for self-care made easy.

As a reminder, self-care is taking action to maintain or improve your well-being and health. I would be remiss if I didn’t reiterate that self-care is not selfish, it is practicing self-love. No one can love you better than your healthy self.

One point made in the “Summer is here” blog was to slow down and enjoy the present. Self-care is about slowing down. Now don’t get me wrong, the self-care activity does not have to be a “slow activity.” It should match your personality and fulfill a need you have in that moment. Sister Darling (inside joke; hey sister!) has a whole meditation room, and I know a few clients who have them also. You won’t catch me meditating much less having a room dedicated to meditating. Unless, Sister Darling persuades me to join her and bribes me with my idea of a good time afterwards. Now a reading room, I can enjoy that sometimes, not all the time. Sometimes my self-care is jumping on my bike or treadmill or heading out to walk the hills in my neighborhood. I can't say it enough...                

Self-care should be enjoyable and rejuvenating.

There are many ways to slow down and enjoy the moment, and one way is to be mindful of the activity you are participating in. For example, a mindful walk is simply paying attention to your surroundings and the experience of walking. Before I lose some of you who say “I can’t do mindfulness,” let me explain. The total opposite of going on a mindful walk is walking and thinking about all the tasks you need to complete, worrying about finances, or rehashing an argument you had with a friend. If all these things are going through your mind you are missing the experience of the walk. A mindful walk would be noticing the different colors of the trees and grass, admiring the flowers, paying attention to how the warm sun feels on your skin, noticing the smells of a neighbor cooking out. (I told ya’ll the smell of charcoal and lighter fluid elicit good memories and anticipation of a good time.) In this example, you are engaging your senses while you are walking. That’s all a mindful walk is. If you need something a little more concrete, then plan a scavenger hunt. Look for different flowers, listen for the sounds, touch different textures, count the number of yellow cars. Don’t worry if you get distracted, when you realize it get back to listening, counting, and touching. If you know me or are getting to know me, you know I love a good walk. But okay, you don’t want to be outside, think about what you can do inside. The main purpose is to be engaged and present in the moment. The enemy of being present is multi-tasking. 

If you enjoy cooking, focus only on cooking. It is very difficult to remain present and enjoy the moment if you are doing multiple things at once. I admit I have to be very intentional not to be distracted in my self-care moments. Consider this, I choose to read for my self-care activity, but I’m also cooking, washing, paying bills, and chit chatting on the phone. How in the world could I be present and enjoy my reading when my attention is divided in so many ways? I can’t get lost in a book and do five other tasks simultaneously.

Multi-tasking is one of the main reasons why people say self-care doesn’t work. Well, it won’t work if you don’t slow down and focus on the self-care activity. You haven’t given your brain a moment to relax because you are continuing to manage multiple tasks. I guess you wouldn’t feel rejuvenated after a walk if during the walk you worried, scheduled work meetings, and paid bills. This is why I explain to people that choosing the “right” self-care activity in the moment is vital to feeling rejuvenated after the activity. If I am worried, trying to take a nap is not going to work, because my mind will just keep thinking about the thing I’m worried about. Then I’ll be frustrated because I wasn’t able to sleep.  If I’m worried, the best self-care activity is something that will not allow me to stay in my head. I need to engage in a vigorous activity that requires physical and mental effort. The nature of the activity does not leave room for me to stay in my head.

In the last self-care blog, I provided a schedule for self-care activities with themes for each day of the week. Below is a monthly calendar that provides different specific suggestions for each day of the month.  

Self-Care Calendar

Taking action to maintain or improve your well-being and health.

Try things out and if you don’t like the activity, then scratch it off. However, I encourage you to try new things. Maybe you didn’t like specific activities last summer or 10 years ago, but maybe you will now. As we have different experiences and time passes, sometimes our interests change. You might be pleasantly surprised by what you enjoy now. I’m surprised that I now enjoy organizing areas in my home. I laughed at my grandparents, and more recently at my sister, for getting so much enjoyment from sweeping their porch and sidewalk and watering their grass and flowers. Now, I reluctantly admit that I enjoy getting up early when it’s quiet and peaceful to water my grass, bushes, and flowers. I challenge you to learn something new about yourself by trying new things. I am absolutely not a creative, artsy person. I can’t draw to save my life, forget about writing a poem or song, and making things, my hands do not cooperate. I made bath bombs and candles, and went to a splatter paint studio and they were okay experiences; but probably won’t do them again. Despite these experiences, I have been considering trying a pottery class. I’ll let ya’ll know when I do it and if I enjoy it. I absolutely do not lose anything from trying something new and not liking it and neither do you. We can move on to something else. Take time to brainstorm about potential activities. You just might discovery something new.

Do you think this mindful idea will be hard? Does slowing down seem nearly impossible? Well, remember We Can Do Hard Things. Why not try something that is hard that will help you? Be intentional about caring for yourself. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

Until Next Time, Take Care, Darsha D!