Winter Blues
We are out of the holiday season and in the thick of winter. I must admit I do not enjoy the winter months; that’s why I live in the South. For the first 25 years of my life, during three of the four seasons, I always had the thought, "Here we go with this again.” I do not enjoy cold weather or snow. I despise waking up when it's dark and when I'm wrapping up work it's dark again. In the past, I joked about being a bear and hibernating. I no longer want to hibernate for months, but I still do not have an affinity for the winter months even though I don’t have the same experiences as when I lived in Ohio.
Haha, I would not be a “REAL THERAPIST” if I didn’t consider a reframe about how I think about the winter months. Ya’ll this is a hard one for me. The best I got is I enjoy the holiday season! There is nothing I can change about the weather or the time the sun comes up or goes down. Therefore, I focus on my Circle of Control. The things I can control. I put my time, energy, and focus on my Circle of Control. I do things to help manage my mood.
HERE'S WHAT I DO:
1. Get every drop of sun possible. Open my blinds and curtains. Bright lights inside when it’s dark outside. I don't allow it to look dreary inside my home. If it's warmish and sunny, I go outside to feel the sun on my skin. When I’m driving, I open my sunroof to let the sun in, not the air!
2. Engage in physical activity. I told ya’ll I love to go on long walks in my neighborhood, but I DO NOT GO FOR LONG WALKS IN THE COLD! I exercise in my house.
3. Maintain my sleep routine. I don’t sleep for extended periods of time. Excessive sleep has the oppositive impact. I feel lazy and unmotivated, which makes it hard to get things done.
4. Do things I enjoy. I don’t wait for the weather to warm up to do fun things. I put enjoyable things on my calendar so I can benefit from positive anticipation. (Google positive anticipation to get a basic understanding of the benefits of positive anticipation).
5. Spend time with family and friends. I avoid isolation. Remember isolation is never good! We were created for connection.
6. I'm intentional about drinking water and improving nutrition after the indulgent holiday season.
My list may seem overwhelming or very simplistic. That's okay, because these are the specific things I've found to be helpful for me.
Reflection & Homework Time
Personalize your list. Consider including changing your environment, connecting with people, and caring for your physical health.
First, make a list of things that help you feel better, motivated, physically well.
Be very specific. For example, meditation and upbeat music in the morning, twice a month go to a bookstore, café, or a movie, weekly connect with a loved one via video call, eat servings of fruits and veggies every day. Remember, put enjoyable things on your calendar so you can see them and anticipate them.
If you have difficulty identifying things that are helpful and healthy for you, then start a list of things that aren’t helpful and try to find an alternative. Creating the list can be trial and error. Practice things on the list and revamp if necessary. If you need help with your list review my two blogs on self-care and review the calendars, you might get some ideas. (Self-care, what is it really and what's the big deal? and Again with this self-care? Self-Care Part 2).
Secondly, make another list explaining the reasons why completing things on your first list are important. I know, I know another list, stay with me. Often times, when we are in a terrible mood or have irrational or illogical thoughts and feelings, we don’t always make the best decisions. When we are not in the best head space, we can justify making unhelpful decisions. This list will be a good reminder of healthy and helpful things in those moments.
Visual Reminders & Trackers
Put your lists where they are easily accessible and use visual reminders. On my calendar fridge, at the top, I wrote “Does your behavior align with your goals?” It's written big enough that I can see it even when I'm not going in the fridge. I love data and tracking, so I use an app to track my healthy and helpful behaviors. So many great benefits to tracking. (Journaling and tracking are a topic for another blog real soon). Lastly, I put some of the things on my list on my phone calendar and label it purple. Every time I look at my calendar, which I do multiple times a day, I can see the purple color, and it activates positive anticipation.
HERE'S THE CHALLENGE: BEHAVIOR ACTIVATION!!! Don’t wait to feel better to do the things that are helpful. Engage in the behavior and your feelings will follow. I am not saying that eating and sleeping well, exercising consistently, and engaging with love ones will make everything sunshine and rainbows during this season. BUT I GUARANTEE, it can make a day, a morning, an hour, a moment a little bit better. Lack of motivation, sadness, blah and dreariness, cold and dark, make it hard to care for yourself, but remember WE CAN DO HARD THINGS! Behavior activation is good for you! I challenge you to do things that are HEALTHY AND HELPFUL FOR YOU!
Remember you can follow me on YouTube and Facebook for more mental health tips! Visit my author website to learn more about my book, Adventures in Love, and to subscribe to receive blogs and Thoughtful Notes to your email. Thoughtful Notes are very short “notes” to encourage self-reflection on an array of topics, such as relationships, self-awareness, and mental health and to provide tips to help with living well.